Dear Diary,
The mass rioting in the streets has led to very precise looting in the past few days. Starbucks all lie devastated by 9 a.m. Olive Gardens are rubble by the time the unlimited soup and breadsticks special is over. And Borders is completely ransacked by 10 p.m. Even with great fear for their lives, all peoples still work together to one day see Borders die.
This has all worked better than I expected, Diary. When I was writing this evil plot after being turned down by that art school, I thought it’d take twice this long. It’s clear I must begin the next phase of my plan. It is time to set up… Evil laugh… the lemonade stand.
Because if there’s one thing mobs need, it’s bathrooms.
Sorry, Diary, I guess I didn’t do a good job explaining the connection between bathrooms and lemonade. So it’s because… Nah, it’ll just be implied tomorrow. Besides, my pen is running ou.
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