Dear Diary,
Now that I’ve got all the money in the world, I have declared that it be replaced by Monopoly money as cash and jelly beans as coins. This is neither evil nor logical- I’m just doing it. Also, today I gathered together every person who once held a position of power and paid them each four orange Monopoly bills and 7 jellybeans- which is worth $2,000.70- to buy off their loyalties. To complete my evil design, I’ve created a staff of personal advisors to help me with future evil plans (In order of highest to lowest rank): Megatron, Henry F. Potter, Steve Bartman, Newman, Gaston, June Cleaver, and the Easter Bunny. Evil so pure it floats.
Also since no history has been recorded in the last 6 weeks, I thought I’d describe the rioting statistics for future generations. Larceny and theft have amounted to about $52,000,000,000 in damages, and several million have been left homeless. However, in a gesture of mourning for the Veishea riots of 2014, no cars were tipped over, no lights were left damaged, and several boxes of breakfast pastries were offered to responding police officers as a courteous peace offering. Although the police disapproved of the public damages, they accepted the breakfast pastries. It was all… highly unusual.
But what do I care, Diary? I’m supposed to be evil and I pretty much started this, Diary. Either way, with my Anarchist Council Alliance with me, we shall soon have the people on our side, too. Which kind of sounds like democracy if the people get to freely choose their side, but you’re wrong, Diary. It’s still plenty evil. And you have no idea what kind of evil happens when the ACA get to stepping.
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